My Two Cents on Birthday Posts
Birthdays. There's so much to talk about, so much to look back on, and so much to remember. this isn’t any usual birthday post (maybe cause i don’t have a picture of myself to post or maybe cause i cant be bothered to), but i hope u will read on.
Birthday parties have changed, a lot. From what I remember, it was once upon a time when our parents invited our classmates to our birthday party, and pack goodie bags for them. Not too long ago, these gestures started to disappear, because we gradually grow out of traditions, and mature. Gone were the days of inviting friends over to celebrate. Instead, nowadays, the friends plan the party for the celebrant as a surprise.
However there are some exceptions which i have noticed. There are in fact people still inviting their friends over to celebrate their birthday. My thoughts on them? I feel they are likely to be extroverts, those who don’t fear rejection from friends, or are always optimistic about situations. I personally am not, and i doubt will ever be that kind of person. Just don’t have enough energy and willpower to plan something for myself i guess. Theres no right or wrong here, just opinions.
At this juncture, i would like to thank everyone who sent their birthday wishes (through various platforms). This ‘essay’ is not intended to undermine the meaning behind those messages you sent, and i am very, very grateful for them. Thankyou.
I hope this can be something for you guys to think about, which has been on my mind for quite awhile now.
From birthday parties, we move on to birthday wishes. Not too long ago, we needed to tell the celebrant physically, as in face to face, but with technology, a simple (or not) birthday message can be crafted and sent within a short amount of time. Do i feel the general method we use now has caused derivations to the meaning behind birthday messages? Yes and no. But in all seriousness, i am in a dilemma about it. On one hand a physical birthday wish can mean much more to the celebrant, as it came directly from the person’s mouth and it was said with emotion which the celebrant can feel. However with text or voice messages (which i highly doubt our generation uses them), the authenticity is lost... no matter how many emojis or stickers you send, the words are just text displayed on a screen. Again, there is no right or wrong approach to sending birthday messages, and I personally i favour a physical message over text, but times have changed, and perhaps its time for me to change as well.
There are various platforms where people can wish you happy birthday. WhatsApp, Snapchat, Instagram, or Facebook. I’m sure there're many more, but these are the more common ones. I will put this out there now, I do not remember all of my friends’ birth dates. I do remember the ones which are easier to link to specific events, but for the rest, I'll admit I need the help of technology to remind me.
Snapchat has a birthday cake emoji beside your name and Facebook reminds your friends when its your birthday. Birthday wishes from WhatsApp groups are started by the person who remembers your birthday, and the rest follows (may or may not be the case). But what i want to point out is, do people wish the celebrant out of good will (for the sake of it) or because they genuinely are happy for the person?
I must say i have been on both sides before. Snapchat and Facebook have constantly helped me and made it easier for me to wish my friends a happy birthday, and i’d admit, the message i send may be very generic at times. But I’m sure I’m not the only person guilty of this. Majority of you have been there, done that.
Take ‘chain’ birthday messages in WhatsApp group chats for example. Are the participants in the group chat pressured into wishing the celebrant a happy birthday just after the first person sends the message? Or do they really want to wish the celebrant?
To be fair, if you don’t wish your classmate/friend/etc in the group chat, sometimes you would be ‘blacklisted’ mentally by that person...but on the flip side, if you are peer pressured into sending a birthday message, then wouldn’t the message not be genuine? Then what's the purpose of sending it? Wouldn’t it seem more fake, as if you are merely sending it because others are doing so? I am guilty of this, numerous times and that's why i want to bring this up. My alternative solution which i do would be to pm the person the birthday message, if i am close with that person. Else it would be just more awkward suddenly pming the celebrant out of nowhere.
Just to reiterate my stand, again, if i was on the receiving end, I wouldn’t mind either method cause i take things as it is. A birthday message is a birthday message. But what i want to highlight is the dilemma which some (if not many) of us have when it is someone’s birthday.
Ok, enough of WhatsApp. Lets move on to Instagram. A while back, a friend of mine asked me what i would do if my friends posted birthday dedications on their insta story (to repost or not to). There were 2 scenarios. One - very little people post for you; Two - you are very popular and well liked and receives a lot of dedications/shout-outs.
I mean I don’t have this problem cause I know it is highly unlikely someone dedicates a post to me. But to reciprocate the time and effort put into the dedication, i would repost them. But then again, i rethought about my stand on this. Would people treat you reposting your dedication as flaunting the number of friends you have? Or how popular you are? Of course some people will judge, and they are entitled to their own feelings and opinions. But the question comes again: how many repost is too many? How many should you repost until your viewers find it annoying? Should you or should you not give in to peer pressure (again)?
I don’t have this problem, hence i haven’t really thought of a politically correct solution. But i still would want to urge those reading to think and reflect about this, because these questions are always overlooked.
Still on the issue of Instagram. The purpose why i didn’t really want to post a ‘basic’ birthday post this year was kinda an experiment. It was a social experiment to find out, if people were commenting because it is a birthday post, or because they see other comments doing the same (fomo i guess), or because they genuinely mean it.
Based on my observations, posts with the celebrant's age or some sort of birthday caption will get the attention of people, and hence more ‘happy birthday’ comments. I’m guessing this post wouldn’t do as well since its so lengthy and well, not a typical birthday post.
Again, I’m not saying you can’t post a pic of yourself on your birthday (whatever your intentions might be). I’m just ‘questioning’ those commenting on posts like this. I personally would comment on birthday posts of friends who i don’t dare to pm HAHA like those who i lost touch with, or those who i don’t have their contact details.
If this is your first time reading such a long post from me, hahaha don’t freak out. I do these kind of thing occasionally. Just need to air my thoughts, at the right time.
