Retainees. People who don’t meet the criteria for promotion. In school context, students retain because of their grades, maybe because of conduct, but I can’t confirm that. What I want to get across, isn’t the what ifs and what nots for retainees. I want to delve into the social stigma for them. The word social stigma may seem a little too extreme. Ok then, lets call it: ‘What others think about them'.

I’m writing this for all the times the people around me talk about how its not possible to retain. I’m writing this for all the times people understate the consequences of retaining, and that ‘moderation will save us’. I’m writing this for my friend(s) who are retaining. I’ll refer to one friend as X here.

X is like everyone of us. Well, most of us. Average grades, average life, still accustoming to JC life. X doesn't like sciences, can't seem to grasp it. That's the reason why X retained. Because of the sciences. Some of you may say, "Well, then X should have gone for Arts stream instead". Yes, perhaps X should have. But what I want to get across isn't the things that could have happened, the mistakes and choices made; instead its about what happens next, for X, and for anyone who is retaining, or has retained.

Yes I have not experienced retaining, and thus I am not qualified to make certain statements on this. But what I can say is, it's saddening to hear news about your friend retaining. It never was, and never will be easy.

Lets presume X was your friend. Your only good friend you kept in touch and is close to. What would you do? What can you do? You know that the road ahead will be tough. The emotional pain that comes with retaining is not something anyone should experience. The friendships made, time and hard work spent, all lost.

Yes, one should be strong, stand up and try again. But in this society, one will be treated as a failure of some sort, whether one likes it or not, whether one surrounds oneself with good people or not. And yet here we are, not taking our studies and exams seriously, laughing and joking around about the probability of retaining, before major exams. Praying to "bell curve god" and asking if there will be moderation for the test.

The meaning behind our ‘jokes’ does actually shows that we do not want to retain or be retainees. Nobody would want to. But the way we say it loses some of the meaning in translation. It seems like we are simply chasing superficial grades on result slips for the glory of it, instead of truly understanding the problems that come with retaining.

I feel that we are treating retaining too lightly. Its not just a topic which comes and goes at the end of every school semester. People's lifes will be affected. Just imagine if you retain, how big of an impact will it cause to you? What are you going to do? Continue staying in the same school? Drop and switch to Poly to start a new 'life'? What do you say when your relatives ask during Chinese New Year, or when they see you? What kind of emotions should you friends show? Be happy or sad for you? And then what?

We will grieve for them, of course, but we will ultimately move on, without them. And that’s the cold bitter fact. We all can be better friends and continue caring for them.

But will you care?

And how long will you care for?

The words we say before and after recieving our results speak very differently... and it is the bit I am trying to drive at. Sure, we give 'retaining' a lot of attention. The word is probably heard at least once a week in your friend group during the school term. But if you can be so empathetic and caring to your friend who is going to retain (cause you know how difficult it is to be a retainee) why does it still feel like we are not giving enough respect to such a topic before major exams, which is a huge determining factor for retaining?

Just food for thought.